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Problem with dating an older women - help
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So, I have been dating a woman from my work (thats how we met) she is 11 years older. Im 27 shes 38. We get along well enjoy each others company. She has a son whom she wanted to keep guarded from me ( the child is 8). She didnt want him to get hurt or attached. Due to unwarranted circumstances ( he was injured and in the hospital) I picked them both up. Later my complex had a petting zoo to which I had invited them. She actually showed up with him I was surprised. She still seems careful to let us see each other. She more reccently had me over with him there to play videogames. I ended p playing a while then reading with him. This past weekend i was invited to hang out with them at a fair. We had a great time and she said she was surprise how much the child was comfortable..He has this stuffed rabbit and never does his voice for the rabbit around anyone according to my gf. He did that to me. The weekend was wonderful below is a back story but my need for help will be below...

This woman seems to have a lot of emotional baggage from a terrible ex husband. I love this woman and she knows it. I have been patient and kind. She seems scared and at times has red flags she brings up to me. She has been cheated on multiple times (as I have actually been cheated on in ever relationship.). So sometimes she will bring up these other people who have hurt her or her son. It's hard for me because I know I am not hurting her nor will I. I feel sad because sometimes I feel like Im living in these jerks shadows..Is this normal what is the best way to handle this going forward? She has an ex that she has been friends with for 5 years. I told her its weird to me because ex's arent friends. She has explained that this guys son and her son are friends and that its for the kids but she does not hang out with this guy because that would be disrespectful to me (unless its the boys playing in the park etc) She also states that she feels this man is not a good parent, and that if something happened it would have happened years ago..I notice that when she gets jealous of a girl talking to me I reiterate that I do not have girls that are friends because I believe guys and girls can't be friends. Is this normal for people? Is it Possible?

On monday, I called her because she says she wasnt feeling well etc. but had no pto and needed to come in..This seemed out of character for her so I was nervous. She shows up at work chats me and I respond she puts smiley faces etc. I say good morning back. She is asking me mundane work questions..Then stops. We have weekly team meetings to which we sat next to each other. I drew a smiley face on my notes and showed it to her. There is another woman on my team who is a few years younger than me. My g.f. has gotten jealous of her before to which I have said she doesnt need to worry. This other woman is just a huge flirt ( I MEAN WITH EVERYONE) that is immature and probably sleeps around. Anyway she starts mentioning me in the meeting and just laughs about things in the meeting but I ignored her and didnt even acknowledge her existance. I have told my gf that I want to know what I can do to make her more comfortable. she has dodged it many a time. Anyway we get out of the meeting have lunch and she says I ignored her the first hour she was in work. that I flirted with the other girl because I was trying to get back at her because I was mad at her or fishy about why she came in late. I explained to her neither was the case. That I was worried about her, and secondly when she is in a bad move I leave her alone otherwise she gets mad at me. She stated she has been with manipulators and doesn't want to be with a manipulator again, that shes tired of people who play games for payback. I advised out of the entire relaitonship have I ever been like that. She has talked to me and I told her I loved her to which she replied you better. Bottom line I dont want to have a scarlet letter tattooed on me for 1 argument as opposed to her looking at my overall character throughout the relationship. Is she scared of commitment or getting hurt? I've explained I'm not like those other guys and she needs to stop comparing me to them.What is going on? not to sound like a jerk but it is also that time of month creeping up, can that a partial cause? I love this woman, I just dont understand,what is going on? any thoughts..?
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Commented By: illaya On: 03-06-2011

hi
Commented By: illaya On: 03-06-2011

hi no problem
Commented By: Niri On: 05-01-2012

Hi, Maintain a very good friendly relationship with her as you do have now & never try to hurt her in future also but think for a other GF for your future.
Commented By: RK On: 07-07-2011

Avoid this GF who has had abusive relationship - she will be always insecure and even if you marry she will cause two issues - extreme mood swings and extreme jealosy. Its better to dump her as you physical problems can be cured but not mental/emotional so easliy.
Commented By: kulsum On: 11-05-2011

You talkto her about this. Try to spend more time with. Probably she stills has lot of negativity about men.


I suggest see if you can move to her home for couple of week so that you both can know each other better.


Women like the one you are dating will be very carefull dealing with men, more with younger boys.


Commented By: ravi On: 16-05-2011

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Commented By: baboo On: 16-06-2011

hi


Commented By: hemraj On: 16-07-2011

hi....need immediate action and also need a girl friend
Commented By: Joe On: 17-08-2011

leave her alone, this will never cure, she will trouble you in the longer run.....
Commented By: Nandakumar On: 20-05-2011

I am not geting any girlfriend because my age is 40..
Commented By: jai On: 20-05-2011

I Hav not getting any girl friend beacuse I am 38 yers old
Commented By: babol On: 20-06-2011

hi
Commented By: babol On: 20-06-2011

iam looking  grl

Commented By: jd On: 25-11-2011

She's acting like an ex of mind. Here's what happened in my situation. She was actually the manipulator and was cheating. She did crap like that to cover what she was doing.

Commented By: sam On: 30-05-2011

Be patient, if she realy loves she will come along..give her some time.... 


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